Feel like I have fully given myself permission to live and work the way that I want to. The exciting thing about “For the Kitchen” is that it is absurd. I do not want to take myself seriously right now. I feel like a bulldozer because everyday I get something done. Everyday I make a list and do not care if I complete all of it. I don’t feel like I have to rush or try to push myself to grow, its just happening quickly. Because I get to spend a lot of time alone and working, my social life feels better. I feel more grounded in my sense of self and that makes it so I can be a better listener.
I’ve always wanted to make music but have been too scared but I made my first album here. It is terrible and experimental but I am happy that I finally did it. I started a band with a friend of mine in Chicago and it has given me a lot to look forward to when going back home. Something to work on completely freely.
Been reading about DOCUMENTS, an arts magazine from the 1920-30’s that was edited by Bataille. Its helped me think through “For the Kitchen”. A quote is pictured below.