I spent 3 dedicated days working on an application for a fellowship at a women’s center. I had to figure out that besides identifying as a women and an artist, how my work and interests fit into a fellowship for women artists. Religious imagery has always been of inspiration to me, although their impact may not be immediately evident in my work which usually references abstraction and landscape (although these two things often reference spirituality in art). All the books I own and most of the religions I research the god, profit, or hero is embodied by a man. Women, while are present, their importance is more often reduced to themes of motherhood, sex, and virginity. There are exceptions, but this is not the majority. I am beginning to think about how women, currently and throughout history, have made tools for themselves to access religion and spirituality through the words of these profits, gods, and heroes, while not identifying as male and also seeing themselves in the female characters. I am interested in how this has historically played a role in the oppressions of women or gender roles and how this has also affected m work, my life, my relationships and family.
Stream of C:
I feel good about this week. I love hanging out with Frida! We’ve gotten to be really close friends.
I feel like I’ve been getting somewhere and my confidence in myself is way stronger then it was coming in.
Excited for upcoming studio visits and artist talks. Would really like to participate in more in Chicago with my friends. Planning on initiating them. After doing some with the residents, I’ve been realizing it’s something I need. They have helped me a lot with their suggestions and their openness to talk about my work with me. I need dialogue, communication, and jokes. It helps me work better. I’m def not the stereotype of the isolated artist. Jokes make the work better. I like confusing jokes, making something people find sillystange but not understanding exactly where that emotion is coming from. Aesthetic is a huge part of it. Maybe that’s why I’ve been thinking about Ikea aesthetic mixed with overly modified food materials. Those foods can end up mimicking plastics or resins, like salt dough and isomalt. Been trying to work on these photos from the play I wrote and fit them into that context but having a difficult time. I’m really obsessed with context being so important to art, again kind of like how jokes work in conversations. I enjoy working in an ecosystem where all works need each other. Think that’s because I used to make videos. Every clip’s strength and understanding is dependent on the one that proceeded it and followed. Which is really important to the way we understand our subjectivity. The contexts we have been in in our lives, the trauma, our upbringing, whether we are in love or not, dictates how we perceive the world. I want to make works that remind you of your aliveness and creating an ecosystem is one way to do that.
Eroticism is assenting to life up to the point of death.
Every morning I wake up and am greeted by my work, peering from the wall perpendicular to my bed, literally laughing at me.
Sander Cohen: I want to take the ears off, but I can’t.
I’m slowly covering all wall space with collages and collage materials (mostly trash).
Have also been letting a good deal of trash pile up in the corner next to my work space because I never know what I might want to incorporate into a work.
Though I’m used to living (sleeping) in my studio, the forever-availability of the works, the feeling of always being ready to make something has started to feel a bit confining the last few days, and I’m driven to leave the house for longer and longer periods of time.
I hop, and when I hop, I never get off the ground.
Still, I’m learning a lot about what making art feels like it should feel like for me, and that’s pretty indispensable.
It’s my curse!